Tags
bad wedding behavior, brides, Bridesmaids, manners, The Hangover, wedding guests, wedding invitation manners, weddings
Sorry everyone, this is not my usual happy happy Magic Monday post.
With the popularity of movies like The Hangover and Bridesmaids is it any wonder people don’t know how to behave when it comes to weddings??? A recent article in my local newspaper, Stay Classy, Dude — Their wedding isn’t your big day, so try to avoid being ‘that’ guest touches on all the mistakes a guy can make at a wedding. Everything from stealing a centerpiece (don’t, they could be rented) to believing every bridesmaid there is looking for a hook-up. Sorry guys, it just isn’t true.
I have a new one to add to the article. Poor BEFORE wedding behavior.
My daughter is getting married in October. The reason for my little rant today is because a 46-year-old male family member asked my daughter if he could invite two friends ( a couple ) to her wedding reception. My daughter knows the couple, who are also in their late forties. My daughter is 25 so they aren’t exactly running in the same circles. I know them to see them, have never had a conversation with them and they were NOT on the list of invited guests and I mean not even on the radar as a maybe. Here’s the gist of the conversation,
“I have a question, can I put T and D down on my RSVP for your wedding?”
I’d like to know when people started forgetting that the real world isn’t like the movies. I’d like to know when people think it’s ok to ask a bride if they can ask THEIR friends to HER wedding and reception which is on OUR tab. I’d like to know when this man grows up because right now he sounds like a 10-year-old.
What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen at a wedding? My daughter says the worst thing she’s seen is a D.J. who brought his scantily clad adult daughter to the reception where she proceeded to do some dirty dancing with any man whose feet touched the dance floor. Why? Why? Why?
The bride was horrified. Someone had to tell to Daddy Dearest D.J. to yank Baby off the floor and put her in the corner.
In light of that example my husband tells me things could be worse, but I’m just not feeling the love here.
So tell me — what’s the worst thing you’ve seen at a wedding? Feel free to rant. We can help each other feel better and bring a little Miss or Mister Manners back into our day.
Thanks!
Kate~
At the reception, I’ve seen a fight over a woman, women pushing each other to the floor to catch the garter, casual dress so casual that I wonder if they know where they are, and guests of another reception next door coming over and helping themselves to the beer. There is no respect any more. I’m with you all the way!!!!!!!!
Oh wow, that’s a very good visual for an action scene in a novel. LOL I hear you on the “casual” dress. I’ve witnessed the same thing at funerals. Things like camo shorts. Now you know I like camo on our guys but seriously? At a funeral??? Or a wedding??? Yeah and the beer thing. I think that’s why this couple is coming, it’s going to be a very nice party and free beer. Nice of him to take his friends out huh? I have only seen the pushy tumbling women going after a garter on America’s Funniest Home Videos. It has to be kind of scary in real life!
Thanks friend for chiming in. I’m starting to feel better!
I had hoped that the bride had told him “no”.
OMG! I wonder if Geri and I were at the same wedding?! Those were the worst offenses I’ve seen and that was a long time ago. I actually hate going to weddings and that behavior is just one reason. Fortunately no one but my own kids and a couple kids of my close friends have been married in recent years.
I hope the wedding day is free of ignorance and bad behavior!
Isn’t that remarkable that you and Geri had the same experience??? Another thing people don’t get is RSVP. I also think it’s interesting that you don’t go to weddings because of THAT behavior. I could do a whole blog post on the meaning of RSVP and I might just do it. Thanks Marcia!
That’s terrible! There are multiple reasons I don’t watch those movies. Breathe, Kate, and I hope you get through this!
I kind of have a sense of who you are as a person and I believe that even if you watched the movies you would never behave in that way. It’s funny to watch these movies because they’re over the top and that’s the whole point of their popularity. There are always going to be those self-centered people who just can’t get a grip and live in the real world. You know the ones, the ones that believe everything is about them. When it’s not about them they find a way of weaseling something out of the situation that MAKES it about them.
You, in my estimation, are NOT one of those people. Thanks for the reminder to breathe, my hubby is kind of afraid me right now.
Oh Kate what a wacky world we live in. At my niece’s wedding, her future father-in-law showed up (uninvited, unwanted b/c of very bad relationship with son) AND wanted to take home extra food, drink, cake! We were flabbergasted at the very idea. Fortunately, my sister-in-law (niece’s mother) had no problem with “no” and “please leave”. The groom was appalled, and it came close to ruining his day too. So sad. Crazy folks. Honestly, I’d have shipped the man a cake to keep him home if I’d known that was his motivation for attending.
Good luck with the wedding plans. As Angela says, breathe. 🙂
It is a wacky world we live in! I’m sorry this happened to the bride and groom in your life. Like you said, you’d of gladly sent him a cake if you knew it would keep him home! The more I talk about wedding behavior and hear the experiences of others some of this behavior boils down to people being self-centered. Thanks for sharing Bridgette!
OMG can you imagine?!?! That is insane.
Recently we were sitting with a couple of friends of ours and their 18-year-old daughter. The couple was talking about an upcoming wedding they were going to. The 18-year-old pipes up with “can I go????” to which the father replies “I am sure it’s not an issue…”
His WIFE had to remind him that the wedding was in 1 week, that the ADULT child hadn’t been invited NOR RSVPed for…to which he replied “well I’ll just call and ASK them if they mind…”
WHO DOES THAT?!?!?!
I think it’s just poor taste and manners.
BUT, the worse wedding fiasco I ever saw. A few years ago we attended a wedding at a lodge. Since we were part of the wedding party, we were staying in the lodge next door. During the reception, the GROOM comes up to me and hubby and says “do you have any valuables in your room…my thieving cousin is here and has been seen sneaking around the other lodge and has been known to steal so I suggest you go lock up your stuff…”
I’d have been humiliated…LOL!! Hubby and I just laughed…I mean, what else can you do but what insanity….HAHAHAHA!
Here’s hoping your daughter’s wedding turns out BEAUTIFULLY!!!
Oh gosh. It’s a good thing that guy had a wife who’d whoa him down about the adult child. It helps when at least one half of a couple knows the ropes. Like I said, I could write a post about the whole RSVP thing.
Now for the thievin’ lurking cousin. That’s fodder for a book, Natalie. Dark stormy night, black trench coat, isolated lodge… I’d be humiliated to have to admit that too but at least you were warned. Who knows what craziness awaits us on October 13th?
These things are about poor taste and manners, people either just aren’t aware or if they are aware they don’t care. I can attest to the fact that the guy who approached my daughter was brought up right, with manners, which puts him squarely in the “I don’t care” camp.
Thanks for chiming in! I’m feeling much better today and this definitely helped:)
Aside from people being “overserved” at an open bar, the worst behavior I’ve seen is people in my family (teenagers and, sadly, adults) sulking because they’re not the center of attention. I remember explaining to one of my sulking nieces that, “This is not about you. It’s about [another one of my nieces, the bride]. Be here for her.” It helped her snap out of it. Not much you can do about the overserved people. 🙂
Your niece is lucky to have you!
Yes, over served people are a problem The reception venue told us it’s better to make the guests pay for hard liquor and wine because of that exact problem. Other than a champagne toast and beer, that’s what we’re going to do. I know we run a risk there too. Keep your fingers crossed.
Whoa! I don’t really like those movies and now I’m starting to suspect why. Bad behavior is never acceptable, even if it’s made into a movie for comedic purposes! The only truly horrible thing I’ve seen at a wedding was when my sister, her new husband, and the entire wedding party (except me, I refused), got down on the ground and slithered about for an ‘alligator’ song. I don’t know what it was about, but they seemed to think it was hilarious. That floor was dirty! I was already humiliated that I had to wear a lemon chiffon dress. Lemon, people! My skin tone does not do well in lemon. Alas, I did it for my sister, but not that alligator dance-thing. No way.
You didn’t tell us what the reply to your male relative was. Did you tell him, heck no! I hope so.
Only one more month of madness, then this will all be happy memories. Keep breathing, Kate. You can do this. 🙂
My daughter didn’t want me to talk to him. She knew it was rude but he did it in front of someone else and she was caught off guard. My daughter is normally very assertive so that caught me off guard as well.
Well happy news, I wasn’t going to let this go and just as I was about to call Mr. Male relative he sent in his RSVP saying it was just him and his two little boys. He dodged a big old Kate bullet. LOL
We had some challenging, stressful guests situations. It all worked out, but we kept our daughter and her groom protected from the BS. I reminded folks that this wedding day was for them, NOT any of us. We’re the guests. All of us. People can be so rude and selfish and of all things, family members are usually at the top of the list. And you know, they just didn’t get it! Don’t let the whack jobs take away the good. Soak up so good prana from positive people and positive things!
Good for you for keeping your daughter and groom protected from the BS. You know what? My Mom and Dad did exactly the same thing for me way back in the day and hubby and we so appreciated it.
On the other hand, I honestly believed that family members couldn’t be rude and selfish to MY daughter. What a rude awakening. It did change me for the better though. I’m so easy about letting things slide, I need to give the rude and selfish a little knock when they deserve it and be far more assertive. I see where I’ve let too much slide in the interest of keeping things calm and on an even keel and now their behavior has gotten out of hand. After all, if they can behave badly, why can’t I call them out on it in a kind and loving way?
Thanks so much for your insights! I will enjoy the positive, promise!